When You’re REALLY Ready

08 May When You’re REALLY Ready

No, I mean REALLY ready..Once you’ve decided you’ve had enough MISERY which hopefully has developed enough WILLINGNESS and you’ve decided you’re REALLY ready to do whatever it takes to get well, here’s a few things I’ll suggest to start your journey of recovery…

1. GET INTO COMMUNITY

Regular meetings with other men that are active in their own pursuit of recovery is critical to your own recovery. When I first got sober from alcohol, my sponsor suggested that I attend at least one meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous a day, which I did for the entire first year of my journey. That was a big commitment that took a lot of willingness, but in the end it changed me for the better and was a key piece of securing my sobriety. I still attend and lead multiple meetings each week as part of my own continued journey of recovery.

Regular meetings for you might include a combination of AA, NA, SA or Celebrate Recovery meetings and/or recovery meetings at your church or sponsored by different community organizations like the Salvation Army or local hospitals. Whatever kinds of meetings you choose to get involved in, attend regularly and attend often. We can’t make this journey alone.

2. GET A SPONSOR

If you want to climb Mount Everest (29,029 ft. elevation), you’ll want to find someone that has successfully climbed Mount Everest and ask them how they did it. You don’t want to find someone that climbed Mount Rubidoux ( 1331 ft. elevation) and ask them how to climb Mount Everest. You’ll die. Find someone that has what you want when it comes to recovery and ask them how they got it. Ask them if they would be willing to be your sponsor and walk you through the 12 Steps of recovery. No matter who you choose, you’ll learn something valuable from them if you are willing. You can always change sponsors later if you need to, but when you are getting started, I recommend that you find someone that has these qualities:

• At least one year of continuous sobriety
• Has sponsored at least one person that is also sober and is sponsoring one or more others themselves
• Has specific experience with the same addiction you are struggling with (i.e., alcohol, street drugs, prescription drugs, pornography, sex, gambling, etc.)

I have had a sponsor myself since I first stopped drinking alcohol years ago. I personally sponsor several other men (usually four or five at any given time) and take them through the 12 Steps of recovery. My sponsor always use to tell me, “If you don’t have a sponsor, that means you’re sponsoring yourself. If you’re sponsoring yourself, you’re being sponsored by a fool.”

3. START WORKING THE 12 STEPS OF RECOVERY

Jump immediately into the 12 Steps with your sponsor. We’ve developed an online course that is designed to supplement intense work with a sponsor. You can get started on our online 12 Step course by CLICKING HERE.

4. START SPENDING TIME WITH GOD

If you aren’t spending regular time with God, START. NOW. TODAY. I can’t emphasize this enough. Step 2 of the 12 Steps says, “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” That power is GOD. While there are many “higher powers” in this world, I believe and have experienced the triune God of the Bible, his son, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit to be the Highest of all powers.

The God of the Bible is a relational God. Jesus died to restore our broken relationship with God. He came to give us ABUNDANT LIFE when we were doomed to certain eternal death. Learning to walk with Jesus, developing an intimate relationship with him and learning to trust him “breath by breath, moment by moment” has been the hallmark of my recovery. I could only do this by spending regular, quiet, intimate time with him every day – by reading his word and other inspirational, Biblically based books, praying, meditating, memorizing scripture, journaling, listening to worship music and attending regular church worship services. I’ve never spent a moment with Jesus that didn’t enlarge my life in one way or another and I’ve never regretted a moment spent with him either.

5. BUY THE BIG BOOK

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is the best resource we’ve found to help people learn about the 12 Steps and how to recover from addiction. While the book was first published in 1939 and focuses on alcoholism, the principals are the same and the instructions are timeless. The root of all addictions, alcohol included, is selfishness and self-centeredness (Big Book page 62). Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith created the 12 Step program through many trials, errors and near-death experiences. Every other 12 Step program in existence was born out of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is the original and in my humble opinion still the BEST method of recovery. There might be other ways to recover…but I KNOW this one works. You can buy the 4th Edition, paperback version of the Big Book on Amazon.com by CLICKING HERE.

6. BUY THE 12 & 12

The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions was written by Dr. Bob Smith, Bill Wilson’s co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is a straightforward, simple explanation of each step and the foundational principals that AA was built upon. You can buy the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Amazon.com by CLICKING HERE.

7. START HELPING OTHERS

Since the root of all addiction is “selfishness and self-centeredness,” the best way to counteract addiction is by doing something selfless – by serving others. It doesn’t really matter what it is, if you are actively spending your mental, emotional and physical energy on helping someone else, it is literally impossible to be actively pursuing or engaging in your addiction at the same time. Here are just a few of the ways myself and my friends in recovery work to help and serve others:

• Volunteer to serve at your local community center
• Wash your neighbor’s car
• Mow your neighbor’s lawn
• Volunteer by serving meals at the homeless shelter
• Set up chairs or make coffee at an AA/NA/SA or Celebrate Recovery meeting
• Volunteer at a local hospital or rest home and spend time talking with the sick or elderly
• Join a team and serve at your church (prayer team, greeting team, parking team, etc.)
• Help a friend (or acquaintance) move
• Help someone paint their home
• Help someone repair their car, motorcycle or bike

You can get as creative as you want. The idea is to get out of yourself and get out of your head and do something for someone else without expecting anything in return.

8. ATTEND AN EVERY MAN’S BATTLE CONFERENCE

Every Man’s Battle Conferences have been a key component to my own recovery and many of my friends and sponsees that struggle with pornography and sex addictions. The three-day conferences are held monthly all across the U.S. and serve as a solid foundation to start an effective journey of recovery from sex/porn addictions. Over 90% of the men in our weekly Bulletproof Glass small group meetings have attended Every Man’s Battle. You can view the upcoming conference schedule and get registration information by CLICKING HERE.

That is a good list of the FIRST THINGS you should pursue diligently as you start your own journey of recovery. There will be MORE opportunities you’ll want to add to this list as you start making progress. And that is the KEY: PROGRESS. We claim spiritual progress, not perfection. Recovery and the 12 Steps in particular is not a CHECKLIST of things you should DO in order to get well. Recovery is a journey and the 12 Steps are merely spiritual tools to help you along the way.

If you have individual questions about your own journey of recovery, we welcome them and will do our best to answer quickly and thoroughly. You can reach out to us through our CONTACT FORM.

“He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is balmeless, for he gaurds the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.”

-Proverbs 2:7-8

I wish you God’s rich blessings as you embark on your journey. Get going!